Not along ago, a friend of mine Vivian was sharing with me how difficult it becomes at time when you want your man to open up to you. In the course of our discussion I was made to understand that no matter how sweet, loving and caring you become, that your man wouldn't just open up. So I decided to have a chat with a marriage counselor who proved my friend wrong.
If you really want that man who holds a special place in your heart to talk, you can but you've got to follow the following talk smart tips.
If you really want that man who holds a special place in your heart to talk, you can but you've got to follow the following talk smart tips.
Let the man pretend he's doing something else:
Men do want intimate, deep, sharing relationship(even ladies too) but many say the concept of sitting down for a talk or worse having or needing to sir down for a talk makes them cringe. For the man it conjures up images of interrogation rounds, witness stands and makes him nervous maybe it shouldn't be, but it does.
Men do want intimate, deep, sharing relationship(even ladies too) but many say the concept of sitting down for a talk or worse having or needing to sir down for a talk makes them cringe. For the man it conjures up images of interrogation rounds, witness stands and makes him nervous maybe it shouldn't be, but it does.
Synchronize your watches:
Some men complain that their parents have chronically bad timing when it comes to relationship issues. For some men, bad timing often translates as not giving them any say in the timing. Get to have more of an ongoing dialogue which will help you and your spouse.
Some men complain that their parents have chronically bad timing when it comes to relationship issues. For some men, bad timing often translates as not giving them any say in the timing. Get to have more of an ongoing dialogue which will help you and your spouse.
Dramatic measures can backfire:
Male silence can be excruciatingly frustrating. At least this is what the marriage counselor confirmed in much less polite terms by one or two excruciatingly frustrated ex-girlfriends. And as such, it must be hard to resist the temptation to do something dramatic to his attention but you must resist because such measures can and often do backfires.
Male silence can be excruciatingly frustrating. At least this is what the marriage counselor confirmed in much less polite terms by one or two excruciatingly frustrated ex-girlfriends. And as such, it must be hard to resist the temptation to do something dramatic to his attention but you must resist because such measures can and often do backfires.
Re-assure him he doesn't have to be profound:
It should be clear by now that male defensiveness is a big barrier to good discussion. And you don't have to be a psychologist to know defensiveness is about insecurity. So a good way to make him open up is to reassure him not that you are already babysitting his egos 24 hours a day. This can be as simple as telling him that he doesn't have to alter the magic words. That will make everything better. The man in your life feels he should be your superman.
It should be clear by now that male defensiveness is a big barrier to good discussion. And you don't have to be a psychologist to know defensiveness is about insecurity. So a good way to make him open up is to reassure him not that you are already babysitting his egos 24 hours a day. This can be as simple as telling him that he doesn't have to alter the magic words. That will make everything better. The man in your life feels he should be your superman.
The right body language:
Opening up means making yourself more vulnerable something most men are reluctant to do. If you give him mixed signals about your conversational intent, he feels suspicious and even more self-protective. So make sure you and your body is saying the same thing.
Opening up means making yourself more vulnerable something most men are reluctant to do. If you give him mixed signals about your conversational intent, he feels suspicious and even more self-protective. So make sure you and your body is saying the same thing.
Listen to what he is saying when he says nothing at all:
Alright, so men don't always talk your ear off. But just because he's not jumping at the chance for a deep conversation doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And it upsets him when his reticence is interpreted that way. Ultimately, the most articulate man in the world will never be as expressive as the quiet man who takes his woman in his arms and holds her in just the right way. Listen to your man during the quiet times.
Alright, so men don't always talk your ear off. But just because he's not jumping at the chance for a deep conversation doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And it upsets him when his reticence is interpreted that way. Ultimately, the most articulate man in the world will never be as expressive as the quiet man who takes his woman in his arms and holds her in just the right way. Listen to your man during the quiet times.
Help men catch your drift:
Men can be shrewd businessmen, brilliant lawyers and yet, sometimes when you talk about feelings, it's as if men haven't paid their brain bill. To men, feelings are too amorphous. Who would choose deal in fact? Male mind doesn't work in the same way as women. So help your man catch your drift. Take it slow, give him the details, but tell him what you want. Whether it's to break up or just plan a romantic gateway.
Men can be shrewd businessmen, brilliant lawyers and yet, sometimes when you talk about feelings, it's as if men haven't paid their brain bill. To men, feelings are too amorphous. Who would choose deal in fact? Male mind doesn't work in the same way as women. So help your man catch your drift. Take it slow, give him the details, but tell him what you want. Whether it's to break up or just plan a romantic gateway.
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